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Relationship Expert-Ask the Expert with Danielle Dowling, M.A.

What are some common roadblocks to finding Mr. Right + Financial Freedom?

Operating from the mindset that a relationship will save you, complete you or usher in the success you have been yearning is a guaranteed way to remain both single + unhappy.

I, myself, have made the mistake of believing that I needed a man in order to feel whole + emotionally and/or financially secure. In a way it is woven into our genetics. Our DNA has a sharp memory + for longer than not women have needed men for survival.

Now we’re living in a time when women have the choice of being with a man because we LIKE him – not because we need someone to pay the rent. However, our cultural morals haven’t necessarily caught up to reality and women are conditioned to believe we’re somehow incomplete without a committed relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth.

If you’re looking for a sustainable sense of security and wholeness it cannot be found in any outside resource. A relationship will not rid you of the feelings of loneliness, fear or insecurity that are inherent in the human condition. There is no man, no job, no home or amount of wealth that can ever generate an ongoing, uninterrupted sense of fulfillment in you. You are already SAFE.

  • Stop waiting for Prince Charming to come along and make it all better.

  • Stop putting off your dreams.

  • Stop delaying taking action on the things you know you want most for yourself.

  • Invest, now, in your career.

  • Invest, now, in your education.

  • Invest, now, in your finances + health.

When you invest in yourself, you have made the executive choice to stop using a relationship to fix yourself. Instead of secretly waiting for things to get better once you meet “the one,” you begin living your life with authenticity + spunk. Understanding and acting on this knowledge will instantly make you more relaxed, sexy and genuine to men.

What is your spending vise?

Shopping online. I am so busy with school, work + coaching that I have no time to spend an afternoon shopping for myself. A good girlfriend of mine works for Rue La La an on-line shopping website + I am completely obsessed. An email is delivered to my inbox every morning at 8am with the day’s sales + I routinely pick up one or two items a week. The brands are quality + the prices are rock bottom low. Work well for my closet + my wallet!!

Not to mention its super fun to return home to a new box of shoes!

Visit Danielle, M.A. at:

Danielle Dowling is not affiliated with LPL Financial or Perennial Financial.

Britt Castro, CFP® and Founder of Financially Wise Women

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